While I acknowledge the allure of marrying a successful man, I  believe that as women, we shouldn’t tether our dreams to someone else’s success. This mindset is so disheartening when I hear other girls express it. 

What happens when you find yourself needing to leave that situation?

You’re stuck.

Perhaps I am too attached to my independence, but I’d like to think that this belief in self-reliance is about something greater.

My perspective may stem from the strong women I admire—those who have built their own success.  I remember my stepmom, one of the smartest women I know, saying something along the lines of, “God forbid, but I know if I needed to, I could go.” This sentiment has always stuck with me. 

It’s not about running; it’s about not wanting my life to hinge on someone else, especially not financially. 

One of my favorite books I have ever read Tara Westover’s memoir Educated. Tara grew up in a survivalist and isolated household in rural Idaho to earn a Ph.D. from Cambridge University - all achieved through her own determination. She took it upon herself to educate herself and challenge the limitations placed on her by her upbringing. Westover’s pursuit of knowledge became her path to freedom, allowing her to break away from a life of control. Her journey reminds us that we can redefine our futures through our own efforts.

This theme of self-reliance and strength resonates deeply with me, as I have immense admiration for the women in my life who embody these qualities and are thriving in the workforce: my mom, my stepmom Michelle, my neighbor Melissa Dykstra, one of my best friend’s mom Lisa Hughes, my boss at my first internship, also Melissa, and so many more. Women are truly amazing, and it’s important to recognize that we can be strong and successful on our own terms.